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my immaterial muse

haven't written any stories for a while, but a couple of weeks ago i had a rather interesting dream that i've been pondering.
it would be a rather odd tale of passing on a family legacy of reality.
hard to explain, but maybe one day if i stop being so useless and actually write something, then it will explain itself.

i find inspiration in somewhat odd places sometimes. in emotions i tend to stifle. in a word overheard while passing strangers on the street. even in things i've seen thousands of times and never paid attention to.

it might be nice to write something a bit more serious too. the last few things i have written have been nonsense tales i've made up on the spot. from memory i think the last one was about a lactose intolerant bear on a quest to satisfy it's craving for a milkshake.

in other news, i evidently have band practice on tuesday.


long distance relationships suck

plus no longer working for Telescum means no money to go see her whenever i want

frustrating dilemma is frustrating

on the bright side though, i love her to bits. somehow i found a girl who accepts my stupidity. she isn't phased if i decide to stomp around the house pretending to be a dinosaur, or singing along to the Top Gun soundtrack. she climbs trees with me. she even wants me to get drunk on a pirate ship with her

it's been 2 weeks since i saw her, and every day seems longer and longer. but thankfully i'll be seeing her tonight

suppose that means i should sleep at one stage



what have i been up to hmm?

-xmas with abby and jake's mother again. rowena is pretty much mum #2
-boxing day with actual family. thankfully i had booze to ease the pain
-new years i got drunk. very drunk
-went to BDO - saw Deftones, Tool, Crystal Castles, Rammstein, Iggy and the Stooges, Grinderman, etc. got very drenched in the rain but fuck it it was still awesome
-currently looking for new flat coz lease is expiring. fuck uni students. they messing up our search
-izzy is leaving next week. i am sad panda
-quit my job. fuck telecom

other than that it's the usual shenanigans really

best way to spend a night

involves sitting in a tree with a bottle of wine and a pretty girl while a bright full moon shines overhead ^_^
i've been a bit of a failure with my writing lately
i'd had an idea for NaNoWriMo, but once again just didn't really have the motivation to put it into words

still, it hasn't been a complete loss. i've had requests to tell stories, and while at first i didn't know what to do, sure enough the words started to flow and a tale sprang forth

it's nice to have inspiration again :)

winning combo

snuggled up in blanket + soft, primarily piano based, classical music + rainymood.com = relaxed as a motherfucker

kudos to izzy for mentioning a composer she liked who i then decided to investigate, leading me to this awesome discovery

zomg baby!

As of Tuesday, I now have a baby niece.

She was rather small at 6 pounds 9.5 ounces, and is still currently nameless.

It's strange to think of my brother as a father though. He's always been very stand off-ish and awkward around our older sister's two boys, but now he's going to have to get used to it pretty quick.

I have been joking around and giving him a bit of shit about it though. Considering he and his wife are both massive geeks that come straight home from work to sit on their computers all night, I asked if he'd gotten the baby a laptop yet.

I think he's still rather in shock about the whole situation. Still, there are multitudes of people around to help them out if need be. Both grandmothers are enamored of the young critter already, and I've already been arguing with his wife's brother about who is going to be the "cool" uncle (clearly it's me :P)

Hmm what else?

I got a new tattoo. It's a geometric puzzle type thingy on my forearm. There is a reason and meaning behind it, but I prefer not to explain. It invokes an image and feeling in my head, and to try and put that into words is rather tricky.

Other than that there's not much going on. Well, other than the Fetish Ball and a few parties/dinners this weekend

On that note, I need to sort out the dinner tonight...

The good, the bad, and the pancakes

Things have certainly been interesting lately.

I had dinner last weekend with my half brother. I thought it was going to be very strange and uncomfortable, as I hadn't seen him since I was about 8 years old, but we got along really well. It felt like catching up with someone who'd just come back from holiday or something. He's considering moving down to Wellington and opening a pancake parlour. Naturally I encouraged the idea. Pancakes fucking rule.

Work has been either insanely boring or infuriating. There really hasn't been any middle ground at the moment, but I applied for a new position the other day which would have me working under a different manager (one that's actually competent) and give me Sundays and Mondays off, rather than Tuesday and Wednesday. Hopefully I should be hearing back about that next week sometime. If I get it, then I'll be cross skilling into doing some 111 stuff, as well as maintaining my managerial role on the Saturday. If I don't end up getting it I'm going to start hunting around for something new.

After work shenanigans continue as per normal. Well, mostly normal.
What started as something casual with the girl from Auckland is now starting to turn into something more serious. It's come as rather a surprise to the both of us, and last night while we were out for coffee we were faced with an awkward question to answer.
"So are you two going out?"
Neither of us knew how to answer that, but we escaped any further prying by saying we were "dating".
All in all it's been very unexpected. I don't really think either of us know where we want this to go, but in the meantime we're just seeing where it takes us.
I still find it quite strange and amusing that all this started from her walking into my lounge one night and asking for a lighter.

As it stands, things seem to be going quite well at the moment. It's a nice change, and I sure as hell hope it lasts

I did good?

Once again I find myself placed in a strange situation.

A couple of weeks ago I met a friend of my flatmate's who was down here on a holiday from Auckland. We started chatting and she said she'd quite liked her time in Wellington and would be willing to move down here given the right incentive.

Long story short, we got along quite well and things happened. Evidently she now has moved to Wellington, and it would appear I was a main factor in her decision.

All in all it's a bit bizarre.

partial explanation of my tattoo

i've been visualising the path i walk in life as a physical road

i've walked a desolate desert highway. i've climbed a craggy mountain path. i've strolled empty city streets and sandy beaches. i've revelled in an ethereal forest, with blue light shining through the canopy. i've scrambled in terror through a collapsing cave. i've flowed amidst a moonlit field of flowers. i've trembled and shuffled along a tiny cliff face shelf. i've embraced a blizzard and flown with wings of ice

always i've walked alone
everyone has their own path to follow, though the destination remains the same - that cold and uncaring land.
some see it as a shining city, some don't see it at all. but like it or not, acknowledge it or not, we are all going to get there eventually.
some people try to delay as long as possible. some are scared of the unknown. some are just afraid of being disappointed by what they find

this road is a difficult one to travel
you are compelled through your very existence to keep walking, no matter what happens
there is pain, there is torment, and there is horror. and perhaps the most difficult of all is the exact opposite. there is contentment, love, empathy, and satisfaction
but these will be lost along the way. you cannot take them with you into that land

the best i can do is endure. know that the pain is temporary. enjoy whatever good comes my way, but be willing to let it fade once it's gone. for i am not afraid of my destination
this path may be shorter than it looks, or longer. there will be surprises around every bend i'm sure. whether good or bad remains to be seen, but either way i cannot turn away
i will continue forward, and one fateful day i shall stand on the threshold of that land. with a smile on my face i shall take that final step

for death is my destiny